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Bill
Gates (tribal name: Micromegabucks), is the CEO and founder of Microsoft
Corporation. Known for giving Big Blue (IBM) the largest corporate
headache in history. He is pictured here contemplating his
bellybutton, and focusing on how to increase his fortune by selling DST
Innovis employees, banner advertising on the blue screen (A Fatal
Exception has occurred on Fault 00005034, etc.), when computers crash.
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Here's some advice Bill
Gates recently dished out at a high
school speech about 11 things the students did not learn in
school.
He talks about how feel-good,
politically-correct teaching has created a full
generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this
concept set
them up for failure in the real world.
- RULE 1 Life is not fair; get
used to it.
- RULE 2 The world won't care
about your self-esteem. The world
will
expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about
yourself.
- RULE 3 You will NOT make 40
thousand dollars a year right out
of
high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car
phone until you earn
both.
- RULE 4 If you think your
teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
- RULE 5 Flipping burgers is not
beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents
had a different word for burger-flipping. They called it
opportunity.
- RULE 6 If you mess up, it's not
your parents' fault, so don't
whine
about your mistakes; learn from them.
- RULE 7 Before you were born,
your parents weren't as boring
as
they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,
cleaning your clothes
and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before
you save the rain
forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try
delousing the closet
in your own room.
- RULE 8 Your school may have
done away with winners and
losers,
but life has not. Some
schools have abolished failing grades, and they'll
give you as many
times as you want to get
the right answer. This doesn't
bear the slightest
resemblance to
ANYTHING in real life.
- RULE 9
Life
is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers
off, and very few
employers are interested in helping you find yourself.
Do that on your
own time.
- RULE 10
Television
is NOT real life. In real life people actually
have to leave the
coffee shop and go
to jobs.
- RULE 11
Be
nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for
one.
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